I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. On top of major depression and generalized anxiety because the universe just hates my guts.
I also found a new therapist. Not only do I need to work on my past trauma and also get through Felicia’s death, I have to start wrapping my head around my diagnosis. This is a lot to take, honestly. I don’t know if I should be relieved that there’s an explanation behind the things I do and accept it or continue to feel like shit because I am not built for this.
Living with major depression has been a struggle for me. It takes a lot out of me just to get through getting up in the morning and doing the most mundane tasks. Then the tiredness and occasional body pains. The suicidal thoughts, the feeling of worthlessness, feeling helpless, feeling overwhelmed…I could go on and on. It’s really a lot to deal with. Now that I have another mental health diagnosis on top of all that, it’s a lot to take.
I know that this will be a work in progress. I’m a work in progress. But I’m glad I found a therapist who is willing to work with my issues (and she’ll probably need therapy once she gets to know me) and be there to help me come up with new coping skills. I don’t know exactly when I decided I was ready to be in therapy again but I feel like everything that I’ve been holding in and not addressing are weighing me down.
Now that my kids are older and pretty much self-sufficient, I need to work on myself so I can be a better mom, wife, and person. Even if it means facing my demons.
Let’s start off with this site. I know it’s been a while but life has been busy throwing bullshit at me and I haven’t had time to breathe. I know that I got rid of my social media a long time ago. However, I’m still on Instagram (you have to request to follow me). I also brought back my LinkedIn. Then I made a TikTok for my dogs.
Yes, I said dogs. Meet Butch Odin Adams. As of today, he’s 20 lbs. of adorable.
He’s also like Carter who prefers to be carried around everywhere.
The best part…he and Carter are best of friends.
Having 2 dogs have been nothing but pure joy. It’s double the reason to leave the house and enjoy them. Butch has also gotten potty training down. He is such a sweetheart but he’s also not scared of anything.
I can’t wait to watch both of them grow up together. My heart still feels empty from losing Ginger but I know that she would want me to be happy.
I’m not trying to replace Bob. But it’s always been 2 cats for me. A week or so after Bob passed away, I started looking for cats in rescue. I didn’t have any luck with them because they never got back to me or they were too far away.
So I searched. And searched. And applied. Applied some more. I figured why not go straight to the shelter’s website and see what I might find.
I saw a black kitty that I wanted named Leo. I applied for him and within 48 hours, I was asked to submit some paperwork. I submitted the paperwork then they scheduled me to meet Leo at the shelter for Sunday, March 21. I took Cammie with me because well…she likes cats, too. So we got to the shelter and the coordinator introduced us to Leo. He was hiding under some blankets and just looked so confused. He didn’t want to come out and didn’t care too much for Cammie and me. Meanwhile, another cat was meowing his little heart out around the corner. He had been meowing since we walked in.
So we visited the cat around the corner and he was trying to escape his cage. It hit me right there that he was meant to be my cat. The coordinator opened his cage door and he walked right up to me to be petted. Even though I was there for a different cat, another cat chose me.
Everyone, meet Hubert. Hubs or Bertie for short.
He’s around 4 years old and according to the vet, a bit chunky.